When I was younger I had sworn off modeling as even a possible profession because I feel like the industry in general tries to make women feel bad about themselves. I am naturally tall and skinny. I do not want any girl to feel less pretty just because she is not as skinny as me. I am not sure I could ever be happy knowing that I made other women feel bad about themselves, since I really think that there are SO MANY beautiful women, that just don't believe that they are.
But... this was a gig with only one boutique, and they seemed to have a variety of models. It seemed ok.
So then I got to the test shoot, the first thing I noticed is that we were supposed to model A LOT of tank tops. I am not exactly a tank top wearer even during the summer. I'm a lot more comfortable covering those shoulders up. But luckily they had me try on some jackets first for my shoot. Phew.
The second thing I noticed was that every girl actually working there had some seriously large boobs. Like I am talkin D's and double D's, and most were as skinny as me! I am a solid B cup. Me and my photographer joked with each other about being small chested. She was awesome.
Then they asked me to wear a tank top... With a sheer back... then they added a bracelet. Tiny wrist+ Giant bangle = not the best look. Especially when the "model" in question is way uncomfortable in this super sheer tank top. I'm pretty sure the photos were more of me grimacing and looking uncomfortable than of me smiling.
Afterwards they told me I did a great job and that they would contact everyone within a week.
A week came and went before I finally got an e-mail of rejection. They were "going a different way." To be honest, I was relieved. I felt like I had been compromising my morals for a job.
Soon after receiving the e-mail of rejection I received a different e-mail... My photo and submission had been accepted onto http://www.stopobjectification.com/ !!!! Perfect timing. There is nothing wrong with modeling, I have many friends who are amazingly beautiful models. But I was really uncomfortable modeling tank tops and that feeling of being objectified. I have been objectified so many times in my life, and I want to be so much more than "cute and skinny" which is my most common compliment. I want to be a great mom to my future children, I want to be a great teacher who cares about her students, I want to make a difference in the world, and not be someone else's clothing advertisement.
Alright, So I have definitely gone on long enough for one night. I just wanted to share these recent escapades.
Please enjoy this picture of puppy and my bearded dragon lizard 'almost' looking like friends!
