7 weeks

So I found out I was pregnant a few weeks back. Admittedly I have been a bit nervous. I had been at my new job (which I love!) all of one week before I realized aunt flo was late and took a couple of VERY quickly positive dollar store tests. But despite the nausea, I have actually been doing really well! Better than last time. No spotting or bleeding, no rushed early doctors visits where they tried not to get my hopes up because I had a 50% chance of  miscarriage. This time I don't have a doctors visit till I am 9ish weeks!
The most hilarious symptom so far is my crazy dreams! Pretty sure it's the nerves, but some of them are so funny. One night I dreamed I had dinner with Pres. Trump and his family and they kept trying to convince me that they were awesome and I was like "idk I just still don't like you very much". Another dream involved me and my boys time traveling to the 50's and the 20's (Pretty sure that was midnight in Paris inspired)
At first I was simply more hungry, but now it's getting to the more nausea stage (lasted about till 14 weeks with William, and wasn't too terrible the first trimester), and textures of certain foods gross me out. I kept gagging when I thought of sausage the other day. Thankfully Bradley ate all the leftovers with the sausage from the night before, and then cleaned the pan for me :) cause like I could not deal with it. I ended up going to talk to the pharmacist at fresh market and got help with snack plans and finding some seriously strong ginger soda. As well as some possible meals to help calm things down (lemongrass soup! yum) and a lot of gatorade to keep extra hydrated when I get tired of water in the day. I usually drink a lot but now I need to drink even more so it can be hard to keep up with it all! I have found though that it helps if I drink my water bottle when I first wake up in the morning, sipping it while I wake up and make breakfast.
I have also been soooo tired. I have thankfully been able to plan in a nap nearly every day, because I am absolutely desperate for one.
I have been keeping up with work and it really helps keep my mind focused on anything but my nausea which is a welcome relief! I have only had it bad at work once, where it was a bit touch and go on whether I would need to run to the bathroom or at least a trash can. Anytime I lift too much I get nauseous so I have to watch it a bit and I had lifted some pretty heavy clocks to hang up on the wall. But managed to get through and rewarded myself with a coke that night! Hadn't had a coke, or caffeine in months so it was super nice and kept me awake enough to get my kid to bed ;) cause I feel like going to bed myself by his bedtime most nights.

Today I am about 7 weeks and it is finally starting to feel real. I feel good about this, and extremely grateful. When the nausea hits I just look at my sweet boy and I know how worth it every second of discomfort is and I feel prepared to do it all again. I have had a lot of conversations in prayer for the past few months, and I have known that things won't be in my timing but that everything will be worth it if I can just believe and push forward. So I have been trusting. This week I have been working on my application to start school back up fall semester. I joked with my husband that it was just one degree per baby. But I really do feel that all will be ok. I feel strengthened even on my weak days. Work, and school, and another child to our little family sometimes seem like an overwhelming amount of responsibility, but then I look at it one step at a time, and I know I can do it. I have done impossible things before. I am strong enough to do it, and it is the right thing to do. Bradley has been incredibly supportive and excited for all the life changes with me. I know it is going to be hard, but nothing worthwhile has ever been easy. I look back on my hardest moments and those are truly what brought me the most joy in the end, and I have hope for the future. Going back to school a week after giving birth, averaging between 4 and 6 hours of sleep (not consecutively most days), and then leaving on a plane to Peru were all extremely hard, but some of the happiest and most rewarding days of my life. I am more than willing to fight to get that feeling more often.

I know this has been a novel but there is one last thought I wanted to share, a quote by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland "My testimony... is that nothing in this universe is more important to Him than your hopes and dreams." and I have felt that. There was nothing wrong with being a stay at home mom, but it didn't really align completely with all I wanted to do. I asked for a way to find more fulfillment and I got an answer to go back to work and school. I still get tons of time with my sweet boy, but now I appreciate it and love when I am home. Heavenly Father has been helping me find and take the next steps and see the possibilities. I have no idea what the future will hold, but when I ask to be able to work hard and well, I am given the opportunities and I am learning to take them. I have dreams of what I want to do, and I feel really strongly that I can make them into reality if I keep things in perspective.